Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Decisions you make...

My parents always told me, the decisions you make will shape your future. 

Let that reverberate in your mind. Let it reflect on your past decisions. Then look at what took shape after them. 

Many of us make hundreds if not millions of decisions a day. From the moment you open your eyes, your first decision is 'should I get up?' Then your mind is flooded with things you have to get accomplished today. It is a vicious cycle of decisions. From brushing your teeth, washing you hair, or that extra cup of coffee. What should I wear, shall I shave, what colors of eye shadow shall I wear. Flooded indeed.

But some of the most difficult decisions will affect your life. But the hardest part is determining how it will effect your future. 

One peeve of mine, while watching a lot of news shows, I hear of the deaths of a young gang member. In the background you hear the bleeding hearts of a mother asking why; 'but he/she was a good person.' Now be prepared here, because my insensitivity is rearing its ugly head here. Understand, I do feel bad that a young person has lost the right to life. But, here I am canceling everything I just said, what decisions did that person make to change his or her future to this?

Firstly, I would see that they have decided to be in a gang. Secondly, they are fully aware of the risks and still make that decision to be in a gang. Thirdly, even if they indirectly haven't done anything wrong, they will be affected by their decisions to be in that gang. I could go on with my list, but I am going to stay with these.

It really angers me that the decision that this good fine young person, who now removed from our lives, has now affected the future and the people surrounding them. 

It is these decisions that we don't think about. Our self absorbed decisions have now a rippling effect on others. Madam, your son or daughter has made a poor decision and has paid an ultimately high price. That now has rippled down into your life, where you remember with the rose colored glasses of a life that has past. You, my dear mother, know the dangers, know the woes that come with this child's decisions. Good or not they were in life, they have chosen that life. Except it. Cry for the loss, but don't tell everyone that this person was a good person. What of those who made a decision to walk, play, or be somewhere where an act of gang violence just so happens to strip them of their lives. They did not chose to be effected by the decisions of these people. Those parents have a right to ask why and this was a good person.

We don't think that a small simple decision will dismantle our future or enhance it. We only see the here and now. That is what my parents were trying to tell me. To chose wisely. To use clarity of what it will do for the tomorrows to come. Sometimes we can't see past the moment or we are wrapped up in its folds that we don't see what it will do later. The hardest part about it is, most of the time, we can not change it. 

It there we need to accept it and learn from it. 

Don't think that I haven't made some bad decisions, I am far from sainthood than the likes of mother Teresa or Ghandi. It seems they learned there clarity in decision making early in life. I have made some horrid choices. But I have made some the best ones that have effected me forever. I have learned somewhat that making a decision will change my future. But to those others who have became effected by them have had to learn that is the decisions that I have made. Good or bad, I made them. 

So learn to see with as much clarity as possible people. What you decide today will affect your tomorrow. Right or wrong, own up to them. And to those who are affected by our decisions, learn to accept them. You were not making the decision for them. They made it, they are an individual and have their own mind.

Hard as it can be, learn from the decisions you make and learn to accept the decisions of other. Know good and well, it will be your tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Divided Lines

I don't like get into politically challenged topics. But, this one has been on my mind and uttered by my friends, family and everyone in between. This new, what I call a forced acceptance of the allowance of marriage. Now understand, I have no issues with whom you should or should not be married to. It is when someone asks your opinion on how YOU feel on the subject and then, then their noses are bent on YOUR opinion.

Keep in mind, it is not in my nature to judge or to be allowed to be judged by others for what I believe or don't believe. My opinion is just that an opinion. Nothing more, for which, I don't judge you for yours. I honor it....why? Because I honor and respect you for what you have to say. Even if I don't agree with it. If I didn't, I would not of asked for it.

It is this division that people forget. It is what we have fought for and millions have died for. Lives are destroyed and bonds are forged on opinions. These divisions continue to places wedges against father against father, mother against mother, fathers against sons, sons against fathers, mothers against daughters...friend against friend....and so on and so forth. Till ultimately race against race and nation against nation. Do you get the idea?

If we don't honor or respect the words uttered from someone, we turn to hate, division, and hostility. All  things that we tend try to avoid. Doesn't the human race get it? *shakes head* 

Normally I would say someone out there will get it. But down deep, daily we do this. For instance, let's take a trip to the grocery store. Let's take a look at what's in the grocery basket. Have you looked at someone and made judgements about what they have in the cart? I will admit I have. But I have to remind myself, that those items are their choices. Does that make them bad? your eyes. They are still a human being.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are many people who stray from the cart and make choices that we or should I say "I " would not choose for me or my family. I cannot condemn them for what I consider as a staple in their lives. The only right I have is to worry about what goes into my cart. If someone else offers or I ask for it, it is up to me to decide if I take it. If I don't, no harm no foul people. Same with opinions.

My step dad told me a bit of advice many many years ago. Advice (this goes for opinions) is free. It is up to you to decide if it will work for you. Then few years later I was offered a good one to my stepdad's, when hearing advice (again opinions included), you can A, B, C or D them. A, accept it. B, borrow it. C, change it to your advantage. Or D them, in which you destroy them.

It is up to you. If you ask for an opinion or advice, prepare yourself for their answer. Don't judge them, because you opened that door to honor and respect them for who they are. Understand, I may write something that you may not agree with or fully understand at this point in time. But I do ask, respect and honor me for who I am. Not for what I believe in, which includes how I feel. You won't see me breaking a stick over your head, because you opinion is definitely different from mine. It may upset me, but changes nothing about who you are and why I like you.

Thanks for reading this, which as for my opinion on the nuptials of others. That is your choice not mine, I am truly happy for you. For you have found love and connection. Congratulations to you and many blessings. Just please understand it's just not for me to change my Facebook pix to reflect a rainbow choice. I try to stay neutral for many reasons.....two are....I honor and respect you for who you are, not by the items in your cart. Peace and blessings!