Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Decisions you make...

My parents always told me, the decisions you make will shape your future. 

Let that reverberate in your mind. Let it reflect on your past decisions. Then look at what took shape after them. 

Many of us make hundreds if not millions of decisions a day. From the moment you open your eyes, your first decision is 'should I get up?' Then your mind is flooded with things you have to get accomplished today. It is a vicious cycle of decisions. From brushing your teeth, washing you hair, or that extra cup of coffee. What should I wear, shall I shave, what colors of eye shadow shall I wear. Flooded indeed.

But some of the most difficult decisions will affect your life. But the hardest part is determining how it will effect your future. 

One peeve of mine, while watching a lot of news shows, I hear of the deaths of a young gang member. In the background you hear the bleeding hearts of a mother asking why; 'but he/she was a good person.' Now be prepared here, because my insensitivity is rearing its ugly head here. Understand, I do feel bad that a young person has lost the right to life. But, here I am canceling everything I just said, what decisions did that person make to change his or her future to this?

Firstly, I would see that they have decided to be in a gang. Secondly, they are fully aware of the risks and still make that decision to be in a gang. Thirdly, even if they indirectly haven't done anything wrong, they will be affected by their decisions to be in that gang. I could go on with my list, but I am going to stay with these.

It really angers me that the decision that this good fine young person, who now removed from our lives, has now affected the future and the people surrounding them. 

It is these decisions that we don't think about. Our self absorbed decisions have now a rippling effect on others. Madam, your son or daughter has made a poor decision and has paid an ultimately high price. That now has rippled down into your life, where you remember with the rose colored glasses of a life that has past. You, my dear mother, know the dangers, know the woes that come with this child's decisions. Good or not they were in life, they have chosen that life. Except it. Cry for the loss, but don't tell everyone that this person was a good person. What of those who made a decision to walk, play, or be somewhere where an act of gang violence just so happens to strip them of their lives. They did not chose to be effected by the decisions of these people. Those parents have a right to ask why and this was a good person.

We don't think that a small simple decision will dismantle our future or enhance it. We only see the here and now. That is what my parents were trying to tell me. To chose wisely. To use clarity of what it will do for the tomorrows to come. Sometimes we can't see past the moment or we are wrapped up in its folds that we don't see what it will do later. The hardest part about it is, most of the time, we can not change it. 

It there we need to accept it and learn from it. 

Don't think that I haven't made some bad decisions, I am far from sainthood than the likes of mother Teresa or Ghandi. It seems they learned there clarity in decision making early in life. I have made some horrid choices. But I have made some the best ones that have effected me forever. I have learned somewhat that making a decision will change my future. But to those others who have became effected by them have had to learn that is the decisions that I have made. Good or bad, I made them. 

So learn to see with as much clarity as possible people. What you decide today will affect your tomorrow. Right or wrong, own up to them. And to those who are affected by our decisions, learn to accept them. You were not making the decision for them. They made it, they are an individual and have their own mind.

Hard as it can be, learn from the decisions you make and learn to accept the decisions of other. Know good and well, it will be your tomorrow.

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