Ever been in a beautiful room that is so elegant, quaint and peaceful? I have spent many of times in places that have such inner beauty that makes a person feel comfy and satisfied. Then, you look out at a view that takes your breath away and you want so much to be part of that view.
Well, today...as I have strolled through my Facebook, I see a partial look out the window...into peoples lives that say they are friends. People who just seem to have a life outside of the beautiful room.
It is wonderful to see...honestly...everyone's cheery faces as they meander through their day or simple vacations or event the events that occur in their little lives. I know...you are honestly waiting for me to make some joke or make light of their events...or even congratulate them on some occasion that they feel deemed worthy of note.
But I don't....it pains me.
People who I know and feel honestly, with an open heart and open soul, care about. Who I even just talked to days ago or a week ago about events to come, don't even offer one extent of the same feeling I share. You don't ask me to come and join in the fun or even let me know that they are going somewhere and if I would love to go on one of their myriad of adventures that they have.
Why? I am in that room....looking out at the gorgeous view....and I.....sometimes the adventurous type....watch in jealousy...yearning...with such desire to just enjoy that view with them.
It really fucking pisses me off! When I am around...you ask how I am...you want to know some of the things I am doing or getting myself into. I let you know...you, with such a facade, listen and tell me that is nice. It is then I tell you I want to be involved...almost sometimes implore you to involve me in your lives. *people have told me...they can't hear your thoughts...but will hear your voice if you speak it*
What am I to you? Just a one night's stand? Easy come, easy go...take what you can while I am around?
Am I ugly?....Do I smell bad....cause I know I shower frequently....and do apply deodorant from time to time....when it is on sale and is on the clearance shelf in the back of some discounted dollar store....*ok ok....maybe a joke or two...but seriously?*
Are you afraid that I would embarrass you?....Make fun of you?...or be the old shoe? Possibly the 'fuddie duddie' that always is the conscience of the group......
What is it about me that plagues some of the people who claim to be my friend...to exclude me from their lives? Am I too fat?...Don't wear the right designer clothes?....Have the fancy car or the fat bank account to match the lifestyle that none of you really have?
Wait.....I get it....this is a Marco Polo game...but when I say Marco...and you say Polo.....you sound like you are on the other side of the pool. But in my realm, I call out Marco.....
Enjoying the view from my room.
Thanks to all those who are fake...who go out and enjoy life with what they don't have and wish they had.
I will just enjoy my room....safe from your judgements about me....giggles behind my back.....talks about me that make me look bad and you all look like saints.
Well, one saying I have for you.....you so called saints....Sinners are Saints. Saints are Sinners. But Angels are born Divine.
So you just you think....sit and spin *oh lordy, realized I am just really pissed about this*...I mean think on those words. Remember them when you head off to the pearly gates and you see your Angel sitting there.
So enjoy your view.....I am already within those pearly gates....with my beautiful wings....and angelic face....watching you.....enjoy my room with a view!