Well, today of all days, I open this blog with my first thoughts and some thanks. It started out simple....I got up, looked in the mirror to see the swollen effects of my plaguing allergies. *Ugh* I utter, another day of itchy, watery eyes. I meander thru my usual routine. Put on some clothes, I am a nudist at heart when I sleep, I must confess. The sereneness of feeling like baby whilst I sleep, is a temptation that I cannot resist.
In a zombie state, I stumble out the bedroom door to the quiet feelings of my daughter sleeping in her room, I smile to myself. I love knowing my daughter is home from her trip. I make my way to the back sliding door to announce the news to my furry beast, that their Mommy has awaking and will arrive to release them from the gilded cage that holds them in the evening hours. They like to dig, so to salvage what little yard I have...I must imprison them. I am greeted with smiles of open panting mouths and the swishing of their rumpuses. "Morning my babies". Then, I head off to get their bowls to harvest scoops of a bland diet of some brand of dog food that I have gathered for them.
The wobbles of our enormous, bulgy cat that we named as 'Tigger', trust me, in his youth, he was a bouncy character of a lizard, and rivaled any skateboarder as he would bank corners at a bullets speed of power. He "Mews" at me with a protest of not ever being fed in his whole life. Lol. Trust me....the wobbles of his belly tell a different tail. I feed all three of them and bring the bowls in to let the fat kitty engulf the meal as if it was his last. The beasts, on the other hand, they sniff their portions and make sure it is their bowls and lay down as I head of to brew my pot of 'evil'. I call it that cause once I have had a couple of cups, the power of caffeine takes over and dictates my morning.
Now, my morning ritual is complete...I wait. *The smell of it makes my mouth water, the beep of the pot alerts me that is has done its job* Like a hawk, I am pouring the evilness into a large cup. The anticipation of the first sip is like an addict awaiting their first fix of the day.
Like my title of my blog...this is all ramblings. Now for the first reason why I decided to open this blog.
A wonderful and endearing friend, lit up my Facebook chat to just check in and let me know she was thinking of me. Of which, I laughed, I was just thinking of her and stalking her posts that she delightfully awakens my mind and heart with each post.
Funny, this person, has somehow...become so close so fast in my life. There isn't a day that goes by that I divert my mind to her and what she is doing. There are days, in which I yearn for us to live closer. But, the big city calls out to her and her husband. But, out of selfishness, I wish for her to be nearer to me. *Oh, sorry...rambling again...back on task here*
Now, while we talk, she opens my heart and I tell her my worries. Which, I usually don't do with people, I am very private. It is an issue to protect my soul from harm. I begin to cry and feel so intimately close to someone. I feel safe....protected....but yet....free for the first time in my life, other than my husband. But yet, still there I am guarded. I share the worries of my mother over the past couple of weeks and my helplessness of solving her problems. But, I have shared my worries with my mother and that is all I can do. I have accepted this. It just hard when you have no control.
Sharing this with her, my endearing friend, I realize that I have over stepped one of my own boundaries. I never share my most intimate feelings with anyone....but why her I wonder. I begin to cry and realize that for the first time I have found a friend who, I a 'Wounded Warrior', can put down my shield and allow her into my inner sanctum.
She shares her personal thoughts and feelings with me as if we had been childhood friends, or meaning forever. Oddness strikes me as I have always been so guarded with my personal feelings. But yet, with her.....it is so amazingly peaceful. It is then she shares what she writes in a blog. Which I hastily Google her blog, bookmark it with a star and find what she has posted. It is then and there I decide to open myself in words in a blog and share with an open heart to the world to read.
Understand, for a 'Wounded Warrior' to take such a great leap into the unknown, is in itself a dangerous challenge for her and for me. So, this is where it begins.....I will take up the gauntlet to battle into the unknown and allow others to read my thoughts, my concerns, my ramblings of a 'Wounded Warrior'
I welcome those who choose to follow along with me. Be aware, these are things of sensitive emotions and are difficult for me to share at times. You can comment or not....I personally will not judge you for your opinions. Not my place to. So welcome to my journey, path or whatever you may want to call it.